How To Show Off In Rio

Oh how proud I was last Thursday when I had another chance to show off my new home from home....

This time I was tour guide for one evening only, so I planned it down to the last drop. I have to say it went rather well - so if its a boozy whistle stop Copacabana type of evening you're after, you might want to try out something similar to this. Here goes.

Step 1...Fail (once again in my case) to catch the sunset at Arpoador. This time we were all there with time to spare. Unfortunately a coupla perfectly positioned massive annoying clouds were too. We grabbed a couple of cans and went to stand on the rock anyway. I have to say the surf was up. Bigtime. Seriously - guinness and old spice combined would have binned it all and started filming again. Personally, I couldn't find anyone to hold my tinny, so I had to stay on terra firma. Bummer dude.

Step 2.... Head off towards posto seis (where the big din was way back in February) for a cheeky caipiirinha at a kiosk. By far the best value and after a couple of beers, it should really help to get a buzz going.

Step 3.... Cross into the middle of Avenida Atlantica and peruse the art stalls and souvenirs while trying not to give away the fact that you're an entourage of tipsy gringoes. Blow your cover completely by walking into the lobby of the Hotel Othon Palace.

Step 4.....Take the lift up to the 30th floor 'Skybar' and have another caipirinha by the pool. (this is the point at which showing off my fluent portuguese to the wonderment of my guests fell flat on its arse when neither of our waiters had a clue what I was uttering). Incidentally, the loo is past the lifts and on the left (just to save you an embarrassing game of charades).

Step 5...... Head along Barrata Ribeiro to the wonder of wonders, the Pavão Azul. Order Pasteis (smashin deep-fried envelopes of happiness - the cheese and sun-dried tomato ones won this time). Drink shedloads of Antartica Original whilst stood around a stood in the middle of the pavement. Don't knock it 'till you've tried it. Thursday nights may never be the same again.

Step 6....... At this point I decided that step 6 was to abandon my mates and go home before I did anything too daft (such as embarking on a one-man stag do and winding up swinging by my bollocks from the nearest lamp post - very wise Andy, very very wise. My how you've learned)

The rest of the entourage, however, powered on with the boozing and wound up jumping off a nearby cliff. 

But thats another story.

The Glorious Blue Peacock. Mwah.