Are we there yet?

We're going home for Christmas - and the thought of all that decent beer is becoming all-consuming. Our little one is about to meet some of the family for the first time, and our not so little one is about to freeze his bollocks off.

Me and the boys. 3 Brass monkeys.

Festivities in Rio are going rather nicely too, however. We sang carols yesterday (or rather we chased our whirling dirvish as he ran laps around the church while a distant choir reminded me of a time when wassailing involved beer and yawping, rather than plea-bargaining and horrible threats)

Fa la la la laaaa, la la la la

The tree looks nice too. Ahhh. Almost worth the hour or so it adds to your journey every time you go anywhere near it.

Over at Jardim de Allah, there's something of an extravaganza going on. We went in the rain, but our little fellah didn't care. He too great joy in the various nativity interpretations on display - particularly the one that was all penguins and seal - 'Look mummy, its a really big foca, look at the baby foca, oooh a mummy foca' - it was worth getting soaked, honest.

Move on please, no Foca to see here.

And now we have 4 more work days, a bit of shopping, a beer or two - and then we're off. Anyone need anything?

So, How have we all been? What we did in a week in MG.

So it seems I'm back in the mood to continue with my contribution to the internet. Lets face it - if I don't it simply might not get done.

Where to begin? Well, we went to Minas Gerais - I can definitely recommend that. One week with the family eating, drinking etc. Our whistle stop tour was as follows:

• Hired car - drove to Bela Horizonte (bloody miles)
 

• Stopped at Estalagem do mirante in Brumadinho for three nights for great food, marvellous hospitality, really bloody dangererous steps for kids and a view to gloat about for years to come. In fact, repeatedly risking the lives of your young ones is most definitely worth it.



The View



And The Pool

 

• Visited Inhotim. - Without doubt the most impressive collection of Art installations and Botanical Gardens I have ever seen. Go there before you die. (the website says it all). It needs at least two days of your life, but with a 3 year old and a baby, and delightfully blistering heat, you might be tempted to axe the second day. We were. In fact we did. What a bunch of plebs.

Our lad's favourite. Beetles in the grass.

• Went to Ouro Preto. Did all the stuff you do there, including trying to drink all of their artisanal beer. Not sure about the taste of any of it to be honest, but it turned pushing the buggy on the bastard cobbles into a total pisstake. Think Paraty but with slopes in every direction.



Pint Of Backer's please - oh how I miss the Horse and Groom...



• Went to Tiradentes. Did the train ride, and the horse and cart. Both supplied much joy to all, not least are uncontrollably excited 3 year old madman. Drank fancy Cachaça and finally began to understand what all the fuss was about.
• Drove back to Rio.

If you have a week to kill there are a whole load of worse things you could do......

Or you could just stay at home and get stuck into one of these..... That stuff on the beach might never be the same...

 

  



See You There! (erm... maybe)

We all love to catch up with our mates. Like most people, I miss the mates I've made along the way and don't see anymore. I especially hate it when couples I know go their separate ways and it becomes really awkward to socialise with one or other of them.

I also am guilty of being terrible at all things concerning my diary. I've tried everything from Gadgets to Journals to the Fridge Door to Google Big Brother to the Filofax to good old traditional pocketbook. It makes no difference how trendy organising myself seems to be, I'm bollocks at it.

Still, it turns out that here in the Cidade Maravihosa I might just have a modicum of licence when it comes to matters of the agenda. It seems that diary inaccuracies are not so uncommon in Carioca society either.

Before I go ahead and insult the Brazilians that might read my offerings, please allow me to point out that many of these tendencies have indeed been brought to my attention by Cariocas that (aside from being mates) should know better than to savagely betray their fellow countrymen with almost brit-like distain.

Anyway... here we go with a few appointment related Rio inspired observations:

1.  If you make an appointment to see a doctor, don't assume it will happen at anything resembling the time you arranged, no matter how much you have to pay.
2. If you're late for your doctor's appointment, its fair to assume you've missed it and the receptionist has the right to grunt and groan and bollock you.
3. I you agree to meet someone 'at some point in the future' then this agreement is worth shag all.
4. The next time you should chance to meet the person from (3) it is perfectly acceptable to, once again, 'meet at some point in the future'
5. It is acceptable to invite up to 50 additional people to someone else's party, unless it is in their house, when a more modest 40 additional people is considered polite.
6. It is fine to hug, kiss and generally be over excited about meeting someone for the second time, even if you have no idea who they are. Artistry lies in finding out their name without them noticing.
7. It is ok to agree to do up to 8 things on the same evening and then do none of them.
8. 'one for the road' - or a 'Saideira' means that to continue drinking for several hours is likely.

I'm sure I missed a couple, but I'm sure you get the idea.

I love it here. 

Oi, Pão! (or how to mind your Carioca p's and q's)

Now i'm sure I'll attract some linguistic advice here, but one of my latest revelations on my roller-coaster Carioca assimilation programme has been the the way people here get each other's attention and address each other.

Like all civilised nations, its a good idea to say excuse me (com licença) before you barge past someone - this occurs more often than you would think. Particularly when you absolutely need to get to the door of the bus or the metro so that you don't end up missing out on an essential after work beer. 

Now, when you inevitably walk straight into someone, once again, like anywhere, 'pardon me' or 'sorry' (desculpe)  is just the ticket. And exactly like 'excuse me' you're going to need it several times a day - especially because walking pace here is only just bordering on momentum, and if you need to complete a hundred yard dash in less than 20 minutes, then I'm afraid you are going to smash into a poor ambling pedestrian at some point or other. I suppose this simpler alternative is just to join the ambling masses. Problem is, the gringo blood still coursing through my veins means that I am inclined to forget - just as the more unscrupulous locals might be inclined to rip me off or mug me.

Here comes the thing I currently find amusing. Its the way that people address each other. In a literal sense. It seems fine to just say what or who people are, or what they are doing. It even seems ok to shout whatever might be on offer just to get the attention of the person who might be offering it.

Cultural querkiness  like this leaves a Gringo like me in a slight predicament. I'm quite happy shouting 'motorista' at the bus driver so that he makes my stop, but simply shouting 'Oi pão!' (oi, bread)  at the guy selling bread in the pub makes me feel slightly like I'm being a wanker. 

For the moment, I'll stick to what I know - I'll call my son 'filho' and I'll call the barman 'Patrão' (because I feel that i'd like it I were called the boss sometimes) - and while I'm sticking to what I know I'll have a couple of beers and see if I can make a list of these wonderful terms of endearment. And if i'm feeling a little braver I might try a couple.  I did try calling my wife 'Mulher' the other day, and I have to say she wasn't sure it was a good idea. More research needed, that's for sure.

Cook it yourself!

I like to cook - but I definitely wouldn't consider it a hobby. I haven't exactly become renowned for my culinary prowess over the years, but I've never poisoned anyone either, and I've definitely moved on beyond the student staples that got me through my hard, hard studies.

Come to think of it, in four years as a student, I seldom ventured into the kitchen for fear of contracting something incurable. And to demonstrate the sensitivity of my refined pallete, I ate some bloody hot curries that made me cry just for a laugh. Where does that put me in line for Jamie O's crown?

I do, however love to eat local food wherever I am and a work buddy recently organised a session with ''Cook in Rio' for us to try some Brazilian food (and be taught how to prepare and cook it!).

The occasion was a friends birthday, and it was a perfect way to celebrate. Not least because if you meet a bunch of people from work it is always a good idea to try and steer the conversation away from the bleedin obvious, and when everyone is 'hands on' from the moment they arrive, chopping, peeling, boozing etc, then it really does feel like a party rather than a works outing.

Simone was the culinary oracle of the moment, and she led us through Batida de Côco, Aipim Frito, Caipirinha, and Moqueca (there was more, but you get the idea...) - I'll definitely be giving it a go at home.

So - if you fancy fine-tuning your chopping or just getting tipsy with the excuse that you're absorbing another dose of Carioca culture, then give it a go - can't recommend it enough. Cheers!

In The Club....

Who would Jesus be?

So, I joined a football club. Something which will no doubt amuse those that are aware my general total lack of familiarity with the beautiful game in any way whatsoever.

Everyone here is something to the world of the round ball. Its almost like you have to be. Everybody is either Flamengo or Botafogo or Santos or something quite hard to pronounce. This identity transcends class, race or gender, and takes on an importance on a par with remembering your wedding anniversary (unfortunately this is also something that can confuse me)

So when they ask me and I don't know what I am, they kindly immediately initiate me into their baying gang on the spot. For this I am supposed to feel a warm sense of pride and belonging.

Anyhow - we joined Fluminense club in Laranjeiras because we needed somewhere to go in our spare time where our little bloke could cut loose with a marginally reduced chance of getting run over or falling off something. I just got back from a swimming and dossing around in the play area marathon, followed by a meal for both of us for R$14.50 and an inevitable couple of cold Skols. Now this friends, could turn the hardiest of footy agnostics.

What is more, I am confused and dismayed that our little man is showing some considerable interest in the bloody sport too, so in order to avoid an accusation of being  negligent parents, we will probably sign him up for lessons when he turns three in August.

Who would have thought it?

Viva são João (and a really boozy recipe)

So.... no shortage of stuff to do in Rio at the moment.... and if a break from the onslaught of the Rio +20 earth summit is needed then it might be the perfect time to get stuck into one or more of the many ´Festa Junina´celebrations scattered around the place. Just don a checked shirt and get stuck in.

Festa Junina started out as a celebration of the nativity of John the Baptist. It is also a chance to thank St. John for the rain (although lately there might be a case for saying 'thanks for the rain and everything, but could we have something elese now - its been pissing it down for ages.'

Dress code is rural. That is pig-tails, gap teeth, freckles, strawhats and any other hillbilly stereotypes you can think of. Don't be shy, there is absolutely no way you will overdo it.

We took our little man to the Fazendinha Estação Natureza in Vargem Grande for the festa laid on by the creche - what a corker. Horse rides, climbing frames, ostriches, you name it - I suggest you give it a spin on any day (might want to check if its open first).

And, being a teacher - its always good to see just how excited the youngsters (and their teachers who actually understand what is going on) get about these events.Our bash yesterday was the real deal (with everything but the super strength São João booze - Quentão - Can't wait to get my hands on a wooden bucketfull!

View from the playground yesterday