Dia Das Maes

Now, one thing is becoming crystal clear. If they do something here, then they do it in a way you are unlikely to experience anywhere else on our planet or anyone elses. Sunday was Mother's day - and just in case there was any possibility of over looking the fact, every high street stall had a total refit in order to accomodate more branded plastic than is sensible. I'm not kidding.

Our little man has been preparing for a while and a special selection of his fine art went into a portfolio for his mum to treasure for eternity, along with a screen printed washbag of his nifty brushwork to remind her how much he cares everytime she trims her toenails.

All of this presented at a special cult-like mummies only event at the nursery, where the ceremony of the gifts was topped off with the presentation of a muhassive paper heart.

Mum, you live in my heart. Could I have a tenner for the pub?

Copacabana was awash with them. Paper hearts and paper roses. Now I know its really cheesy, but somehow it does actually feel nice to be somewhere pure love is so publically and joyfully expressed. Pass us a bucket someone? - I do believe I've just had another emotional episode.

Bella Blu, Copacabana.

Itaipava was our Saturday  destination, so we went steady Friday night. We ventured along the road for pizza at Bella Blu. Good grief. Rodizio de Pizza means that an army of pizza wielding maniacs will keep appearing to fill your face until you start crying.

To be fair, the pizza is excellent (although I can´t say I eat that much of it) - it certainly makes pizza hut look a proper disgrace - Even if the one at Arpoador has valet parking, for crying out loud.

Just as the need to chunder my overindulgence around the place subsided, the army mobilised again and the sweet pizzas started their onslaught. I stuck to a bit of chocolate and about 15 degrees of banana and apple.

Incidentally, the sushi is also fantastic

We walked home too full to stop off at the Pavao Azul for a cheeky cold one. Serves me right really. Greedy git.

How To Show Off In Rio

Oh how proud I was last Thursday when I had another chance to show off my new home from home....

This time I was tour guide for one evening only, so I planned it down to the last drop. I have to say it went rather well - so if its a boozy whistle stop Copacabana type of evening you're after, you might want to try out something similar to this. Here goes.

Step 1...Fail (once again in my case) to catch the sunset at Arpoador. This time we were all there with time to spare. Unfortunately a coupla perfectly positioned massive annoying clouds were too. We grabbed a couple of cans and went to stand on the rock anyway. I have to say the surf was up. Bigtime. Seriously - guinness and old spice combined would have binned it all and started filming again. Personally, I couldn't find anyone to hold my tinny, so I had to stay on terra firma. Bummer dude.

Step 2.... Head off towards posto seis (where the big din was way back in February) for a cheeky caipiirinha at a kiosk. By far the best value and after a couple of beers, it should really help to get a buzz going.

Step 3.... Cross into the middle of Avenida Atlantica and peruse the art stalls and souvenirs while trying not to give away the fact that you're an entourage of tipsy gringoes. Blow your cover completely by walking into the lobby of the Hotel Othon Palace.

Step 4.....Take the lift up to the 30th floor 'Skybar' and have another caipirinha by the pool. (this is the point at which showing off my fluent portuguese to the wonderment of my guests fell flat on its arse when neither of our waiters had a clue what I was uttering). Incidentally, the loo is past the lifts and on the left (just to save you an embarrassing game of charades).

Step 5...... Head along Barrata Ribeiro to the wonder of wonders, the Pavão Azul. Order Pasteis (smashin deep-fried envelopes of happiness - the cheese and sun-dried tomato ones won this time). Drink shedloads of Antartica Original whilst stood around a stood in the middle of the pavement. Don't knock it 'till you've tried it. Thursday nights may never be the same again.

Step 6....... At this point I decided that step 6 was to abandon my mates and go home before I did anything too daft (such as embarking on a one-man stag do and winding up swinging by my bollocks from the nearest lamp post - very wise Andy, very very wise. My how you've learned)

The rest of the entourage, however, powered on with the boozing and wound up jumping off a nearby cliff. 

But thats another story.

The Glorious Blue Peacock. Mwah.

Pimenta (some like it really hot)

Everywhere that sells food (and that really dosen´t rule many places out) has Molho de Pimenta (chilli sauce) - its perfectly normal to splatter it all over everything. Dip stuff in it, add it to your soup or gravy - just don´t accidentally feed it to a one-year-old.... Nah... Nobody could possibly be that stupid.

It comes in approximately a million varieties, and the most serious is the homemade stuff that is quite simply oil with chillies left in it for about a decade. That stuff is a bit unpredictable, so take care - you might want to drop a bit on the table first to see if it burns a hole.

Now - those of you who have braved such madness as Dave´s insanity sauce (famous for ruining sphinkters the world over) might not want to bother with the milder ones that use vinager instead of oil, but most people, I imagine, would find these ones bearable - maybe even pleasurable.

They even have a couple to choose from in the School canteen. Does that mean its educational? - Best not miss out just in case.

But maybe put the bog roll in the fridge, just to be on the safe side.

Here´s a few I tried earlier

A home brewed deadly one.

A factory made one. For wusses to pretend they´re tough

This gave me blurred vision. If a wuss got hold of this, I wouldn´t fancy much for their chances.





Arpoador (where we nearly saw the setting sun)

Ahh, the Setting Sun - one of my favourite Brighton boozers...

Still, I digress...

Now, when I say nearly saw, you know precisely what I mean. We faffed about and  missed it. 


But a school of budding photographers and more than a handful of passers by can't be wrong. 
Arpoador is the area where Copacabana turns into Ipanema, and there are all manner of distractions. The waves here are probably the most impressive within the city and that attracts all manner of dudes. There's a great little extreme shopping mall for roller bladers and boarders of all varieties. The skate park it right at the top of the hill. 

There's beer too, from any number of sellers near posto 7 (also handy if, like me, you're a stickler for tradition and like to go for a wee in an actual loo) to the swanky looking Astor bar just along into Ipanema proper. Good grief, I feel like a one man commercial. 

Most of all though there is the rock, with the shit yourself view of Copacabana in one direction and Ipanaema in the other. Apparently, if you get your act together and turn up on time, the sunset is breathtaking and there's a round of applause as it disappears. 


So stunning, I'm told that it makes one forget the occasional waft of piss. Now that really must be beautiful unmissable moment. 


PS. - Don't hang around too long after the main event. I hear that getting off the rock after dark may well lead to an unwanted rendezvous with someone or other seeking to borrow some cash, or a camera, or both. We vacated the area while it was still pretty buzzy. 


Sometimes it pays to do things on time.

Our boy and Ipanema... almost sounds familiar.

And here's one I stole.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Shopping Cidade Copacabana

Lovejoy would have loved this.... (click and see if you can still sing along!)

The second floor of the shopping mall at Shopping Cidade Copacabana is a gem. A real find. Its like a glorious step back in time and a trip around a shopping mall just as its meant to be. Not a global label in sight - just shop after shop of delightful chic surprises.

Art lovers, antiques hunters - don't miss out. This is where you should buy something truly groovy to take back with you.

And to think we found it by accident.

The retro spiral ramp in the middle of the mall is a must-see. And the car fumes are free!

Once you get over the feeling of being an extra in 'The Shining' it really is  a top place to browse..

The Zoo

I'm a bit nervous about visiting a series of imprisoned animals at the best of times, and today was no exception. But, you know how it is, one thing led to another and before I knew it, I was headed across the park towards the incarcerated doolittle exhibition.

Turns out it wasn't too bad, although (and i'm no expert in these things) I reckon a grown tiger deserves enough space to swing itself in.

Incidentally - there are a pair of tigers there aptly named William and Kate - although there was no evidence of their wedded bliss. (nor were the penguins and giraffes joining in a disney-like chorus of 'oops upside yer head.) - I'm not kidding - here's proof:

ROYAL TIGERS AT RIO ZOO!

Needless to say we left the zoo sharpish.

(Its really cheap to get in though - R$5 buys you all the caged up shenanigans you can goggle at!)

I quite enjoyed this one - although I did find it hard not to go - oo ,oo,oo at the Monkies

Count the turtle's heads.....

Herein lie some massive nasty bastards. Go ssssss at them if you want - they'll deal with you as they see fit.